Minor Universe 31 |
A chronodiegetic space. |
In just one phone call Precision Life Solutions saves the day!
Don’t feel like having a bad day? We’ll have one for you! At Precision Living Solutions, we feel bad so you don’t have to. Because life shouldn’t get in the way of your life.
Read more about this revolutionary new service in Sorry Please Thank You by Charles Yu, out now from Pantheon Books.
Book trailer for #SPTY. Thanks to @smdnyc for her directing talents! @pantheonbooks
Mr. Harkaway! You are too kind, sir.
Charles Yu has a new collection out. (Brother Albertini! Perform the Dance of Joy!) But also: supremo book trailer. And there are very few of those.
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Magical Disorders
Case Study No. 1
Person-Specific Magical Deficiency Disorder
_______________________________________________________________
Subject is Ben S., male, early 30s.
Object of affection is Abby R., female, early 30s.
Ben S. loves Abby R. With all of his heart. Which is too much. This is the source of his problem.
Typically with this disorder we observe uncontrolled quantities of love having an aggrandizing effect on magical faculties, i.e., the subject is able to summon magic considerably more powerful than would otherwise be available to him.
In this case our subject exhibits the opposite symptom: Ben is completely unable to perform magic while in proximity to Abby. Outside of the critical distance, Ben’s abilities are unimpaired. In her presence, however, Ben is rendered powerless.
Even a simple conjuring trick fails him. A flower, plucked from thin air.
At the age of four, Ben watched his father perform this trick for his mother, and just by observing it was then able to do it himself. Under normal circumstances, he does it without the slightest trace of exertion: just two fingers pressed against his thumb, a quick movement of his wrist. The key, of course, is knowing exactly where in the invisible field the flower is hidden. Ben has done it thousands of times over the years, for a dollar, for a date, for the simple pleasure of making children smile.
But when Ben goes to pluck a flower for Abby, nothing. He does it again. Nothing. Nervous laugh, huh huh, um, heh. Abby says, don’t worry, it happens to everyone. Again. Nothing. Again and again. No flower. No flower. No flower. Ben can’t understand. Ben never understands. Abby and Ben remain friends, and Ben never stops trying to pull the flower from the air. Never stops insisting how he feels. Abby wants to believe him, but inside she thinks: really? Not one flower? But Ben can’t produce it. So great is the force of his magical intent that, when faced with the challenge of distilling it into one small gesture, he is overwhelmed.
Ben and Abby live mostly quiet lives. Abby’s is mostly happy. Ben’s is sometimes so, although always burdened with the weight of the missing flowers. Eventually, Abby marries. Ben never does. They both grow older and older until, one day, Ben dies. Abby goes to his funeral. She’s no longer the object of affection. No longer the beloved. No more nouns, just a verb. Just whatever love is, in the past tense. She thinks: he loved me too much, which was a problem. But it was also a solution. The eulogist says a few kind words about Ben, and then they start to lower Ben’s coffin into the ground, and at that moment, Abby sees a flower drop softly at her feet. She looks up to see that a trap door has opened in the clouds, and there they are. Hundreds of millions of flowers, raining down from the sky.
“The problem with unintended consequences isn’t with the consequences, it’s with the unintended. Just because you didn’t intend for something to happen doesn’t mean you didn’t want it to happen.”
- Charles Yu, Sorry Please Thank You
We’re so, so excited for this book, which comes out 7/24!
Please enter Wired.com’s contest to give away the metal Book From Nowhere! All you have to do is post a comment! Please click-through on the photo for details! Why am I speaking in exclamations?! I don’t know, but probably because I am super-excited!
ID Badges for Minor Universe 31. If you are caught in this universe and aren’t wearing one of these, you are in danger of being shot with a paradox neutralization weapon.
In case anyone’s interested, this is early work published in the Journal of Applied Fictional Sciences. This occurred in Universe 31.2, a prior version of the current Universe which has now been overwritten.
Scientists in your universe are starting to make discoveries that are also true in Universe 31. Further proof that our universes are moving closer together. In fact, they seem to be overlapping a bit.
Amazing cover for The Book From Nowhere, UK edition. Saving as a .jpg format appears to have changed the color a bit. This jpeg looks fuschia or hot pink, but the color on the version I’m looking at is closer to what I’d call Cherry Popsicle.
Q: Can we try this again?
A: Go for it.
Q: What is Minor Universe 31?
A: In 2010, Charles Yu defined it as “an interior space” but also “real, a physical place” and “a box, a white space, a forgotten gap-filler between more important universes.”
Q: Who is Charles Yu?
A: He was (and sometimes is) a time machine repair man.
Q: What do you mean, was (and sometimes is)?
A: Sometimes he is, and sometimes he was.
Q: Um, okay. Why should I care about this person?
A: You shouldn’t. All you need to know about Charles Yu is that he’s the guy who receives The Book From Nowhere.
Q: The what?
Q: Who gave him the book?
A: Charles Yu. His future self.
Q: He gave himself the book? Did he write it?
A: Well, no. Yes. I don’t know. I guess that’s kind of the question.
Q: That’s not exactly an answer.
A: That’s not exactly a question.
Q: Come on.
A: Please phrase in the form of a question.
Q: You are the worst.
A: Does not compute.
Q: Stop talking in robot voice. That’s not even a good robot voice.
A: You always have to get personal about it.
Q: Fine. Forget it. Be like that.
A: I will.
Q: At least tell me this: where is Charles Yu now?
A: Unclear. He shows up here from time to time.
Q: Why here?
A: This tumblr is the part of Minor Universe 31 that touches the region of time known as 2010. It also happens to be near enough to Earth that we can capture and record his output.
Q: What does he do when he’s here?
A: Downloads client service logs. Talks about his dog, Ed. Talks to his computer’s operating system, TAMMY. Tinkers with his time machine.
Q: Anything else I need to know?
A: There is…a slight chance that a special version of The Book From Nowhere will enter Earth’s universe. Which could be…uh, interesting.
Q: Dangerous?
A: No, not…necessarily. Just, uh, keep an eye out for it.